Before it's Too Late

I'm flying off again.. early Monday morning. This trip has kinda crept up on me and took me by surprise. I knew that I would be away around this time of the year cos I'm heading to Malaysia for my cousin's wedding.. but at the same time I dunno.. I guess I didn't have time to anticipate. My bags are semi packed. I've brought too much I think. But everything seems essential.. as everything always is. Everything has been pretty much sorted. Appartment accomodation in Taiwan is finally sorted thanks to the help of Jason. Just a little piece of mind knowing I don't have to worry about accomodation in Taiwan. I'm looking forward to the Taiwan leg.. a little nervous about taking my family around.. but excited none the less. I will be living alone in Taiwan for 20 days. Its kinda scary. And I wish Lisa and Mish were actually coming, like planned.. but I guess everything happens for a reason. Jia You.

I thought I would just do a quick recap of this year before I am to fly off. Mainly because I don't know if I will have the chance to blog for a while.. I'm not bringing lappy with me this time.

This year has been a real roller coaster for me. A lot has happened. I've learnt new things, met new people, said goodbye to some people, started and finished honours, got back into work-struggled-tried-to-quit- stayed- quit, dinnered, shopped, Melbourned, Unemployed, Jay Chou and Daniel Henney, been a bride's maid and gained a brother... the list goes on.

Tho I know there were many many testing moments this year, moments that almost broke me. I'm glad to be where I am now. As I am that little bit stronger because of the pain. There were also a lot of moments that I can imagine just staring into space with the sudden trigger of memories and giggle about.

I don't really know. All of 2009 I've thought that 2010 would be my year. A year that I would be accomplished and shine. Did I really achieve that? I'm not really sure. But looking back on everything now.. it wasn't so much of a bad year. It was hard.. but yah I think it was worth it.

I can only hope that 2011 brings a new start. Lets work hard together..

See u soon ^^

Sometimes...

This has been a little bit of a hard week for me. For many reasons.. of which I don't think I have the heart at the moment to divulge. It seemed that I'm been pushing myself to just get through this week.. pushing myself to be strong and not let it all affect me too much. It has been hard. Really hard.

Sometimes I do wonder if I just put myself through everything just to feel human. I really don't know. But regardless.. that is not even the point on this blog post today.

The point of this post is that although this has been a physically and emotionally straining week for me there are two people who have really surprised me. In a good way that is. One is an old friend of mine who I have known for a few years. It felt as if we were drifting apart.. but this week I really felt as if this person has never second guessed the type I person I am. And with this faith in me I am surprised and so very grateful.. because it made me feel as if I didn't need words to explain who I am or what I am doing .. they already know. *love*

The second person this week surprised me the most. I feel like such a selfish person after talking to her. But I was touched at how much she cared. This second person is one of my co-workers. Ok, at work I'm a pretty mysterious person. No-one knows much about me.. I hadn't been working with them enough to be able to let them get to know me so well.. so I'm not as close to my co-workers as I could be. But as this week has been so straining.. Its shown ever so clearly that things have been on my mind.. that I have been upset. Today was the last day of the week. Its a huge sigh of relief. But as usual after work at the post office, I turn into the dinner shift at the restaurant. I had been feeling the weight of the week and was exhausted. Mum let me rest in my car while it was quiet. That's when I got a phone call from an unknown number. I picked up not knowing what to expect. I was my co-worker just calling me to see if I was ok. She knew about the rough week .. and I thought I could help her with something (I thought that's why she called) but no.. she called solely to see if I was ok. She gave me advice and talked to me about everything. But mostly what I heard was how much she cared. She has restored me faith in people.. and her phone call really made my day. It was only 10mins .. on the phone (even if I saw her at work today) .. and it made my day.

In any case. To both these two surprises in this very tough week.. I say thank you. U guys make me stronger.


Noelle.

Glimer of Happiness

It's kinda sad to think that I only really blog when something is wrong, when I'm sad or when I'm on a holiday. haha But I guess it's safe to assume that in between all those times I am happy enough. Happy enough to not have to run to my blog readers with tears in my eyes because life has bullied me.. or I believe that life has anyways...

Being back from Melbourne and the general feeling of being on holidays kinda sucks. LOL. Yes I know that's what everyone feels, after all who wouldn't want to be on holidays all the time. But in these past few weeks I've been quite content. There is nothing I can complain about overly really.. and just moments that I can just smile about nothing... what has happened to me? haha

Maybe it has a little to do with the fact that I haven't fully knuckled down to study for my final exam yet. During exam period I'm always an emo little girl.. but I dunno.. because I've been working and still making time to talk to friends and hang with people I think its made everything a little easier this time round.

My final exam (god this feels a little like dejavu) is on next Monday. A little worried because I'm pretty sure I don't know the content that is going to be assessed. It's on Clinical Assessment. I do find a lot of it interesting despite being very fidgety during the lectures. haha I just can't sit still.
Anyways I just thought I would do a little spill before I go and do I little more studying. U know what .. I think u guys will miss my dramatic emo posts.. sorry this was a boring post guys :( haha

Till another day.

P.S what happened to my comment box? grrrzz will have to fix that after exams .. added to the to do list XD

Melbourne and My Birthday

~Melbourne from our hotel room window~

Looking back on the experience in Melbourne, it was really kind of like a therapy session for me. I know I left perth quite depressed and stressed about assignments and what not... but slowly the time we spent in Melborune really cheered me up.

My Tiffany & Co.

23rd Brithday Present to myself

My birthday was one of the most memorable days in Melbourne (not that everyday wasnt memorable!). But it was filled with lovely little moments. Like buying my tiffany *love love*, having the facial done (which made our skin look so awesome), like drinking games and the bars that the boys took us too (where I lost every round T.T thanks Vince), like singing 說好的幸福呢 *epic*, like catching up with the dear boys I met in Taiwan. It was so eventful... and at the same time it didn't feel like my birthday. Strange right?

Singing 說好的幸福呢

-Me, Mishie, Andrew, Vincent and Tim-

Other highlights of Melbourne included touring all the historical points of interest with Jimmy. Its been ages since I've seen him.. like it was highschool? But he was so nice and just the same ole Jimmy that I have always known. It was good to see him again and I'm thankful for such an awesome tour guide. The girls were also very impressed with how much he knew about Melbourne, a city that he has only been in for 5 years. You would have thought he grew up there. But thats just Jimmy. He is awesome like that.

Loved the club in Melbourne that we went to. It played all the good songs. At first there was a gianormous line to get in. But then the bouncer came up to us and moved us to like a fast/VIP-ish line .. lol I think it was cos we were girls... so desipte the 20 meter line, we got in in like 10 mintues. The people there were different. Or maybe it was because we were afraid of their difference. The lack of familar faces it must be. The girls there are quite scary ><>

Hutong Dumpling Bar - Lisa and I

Disappointments was probably the food. I don't think we really had an awesome meal in Melbourne. My favourite was probably the steamboat buffet Lisa and I had on the last day and the pizza place Jimmy took us to. But According to Andrew, we just really didn't know where to look for good food. Next time I will let a local take us for food ^^

The same with shopping... we didn't really shop all that much. Not that I should even be shopping with the crazy amount of clothes that I hoard! But most of the stuff we bought were kinda expensive - labley stuff.. and even then we bought nothing. I don't know how I spent so much money ><>

Next time I go to Melbourne (yes, there will be a next time), I would like to go to Luna Park to play. I know its a little childish, but I really wanna go!!! I have no idea when that will be tho. I've come home from Melbourne as a happier person. I've let a lot of things go. I'm glad and ready for the next adventure!

With the Girls

Will you join me?

The 4am Friend

... scribbled this down last night before I went to bed ... I wanted to blog but it would have taken too long to get lappy on ... and it was already 4am.

Have you ever had a friend that you could call no matter what?
It didn't matter how silly your problems were, how irrational you were being or how late/early it was... you knew they would pick up no matter what and just be there for you.
I think I've always had someone like that in my life until now.

Don't get me wrong... its not cos I can't talk to those people anymore.. but its more because they have responsibilities now.. and I don't want to bother them.

But right now. At 4am. I really wish I had someone to talk to...

Student's Rant

Grzzzzzz.... i mean really GRRRRRRRZZZZZZZ

I don't think words can really describe my disappointment and frustration with my supervisor and honours in general. Yes. I know. Its very close to the end. Just another week and a half and it will be all over with. But seriously, why do this to me. Why must he be such a retard. I've already tried to come to terms with the fact that I can't really count on my supervisor to help with anything related to my project and have solved all the problems together with my master's student. Finally thought that it would all be ok and that I've made it thus far. And then he goes and annoys the crap outa me!!!!! GRRRRZZZ

For honours, our supervisor is allowed to read and give comments on our draft only twice with a ten day turnaround. That means they have to give it back to us after 10 days of receiving it. Additionally, they can only read and comment on the Intro, Method and Results, so they are not allowed to touch your discussion let alone read it. Anyways, I was working on quite a good schedule earlier on this year. Remember when I told you guys my first draft was due back in July 31st? Well I was actually the only on of his students who managed to give him a complete first draft with all three sections. I was quite happy with that first draft and had put in a lot of effort. Anyways, I got that back and he didn't have many comments because he said it read well and all I had to do was add I headings. I was so surprised, but glad because we all know how much my proposal annoyed me. So I happily edited my first draft and finalised my results before sending in my second draft a couple weeks ago. I got it back last night.

And that's when I got super annoyed. Its come back needing MAJOR changes. I can see how I will need to re-write 30% of it. Its not just the way I write.. its also major ideas and the structure that need to be changed. On top of these changes I haven't even finished writing my thesis.. the discussion is only just started and I think I'm about 2000 words away from completing it. There is seriously so much to do. On top of it all the conference is tomorrow and I haven't finished my slides. What S**ts me the most is that HE COULD HAVE MENTIONED THAT THESE CHANGES NEED TO BE MADE IN THE FIRST DRAFT instead of making me think that it was all ok. So now that I'm pressed with time and stressed with everything else he piles on more crap for me to do. It just makes it seem like he didn't even read the first draft. And if that's the case isn't that even more disappointing ... I already don't expect very much from him as a supervisor ... and at the end of the day he doesn't even do his basic job. Just so annoyed *angry face*

Clarice, my master's student is equally annoyed. Her thesis is due like a few days before mine and she also has been given major changes to work on. What is worse in her case was that she gave in her final draft 3 weeks before she got any feedback.

What have we done to deserve a supervisor like this? I'm going to make sure that people chose their supervisors wisely next year. I'll be sure not to recommend this particular supervisor. GRRRRRRZZZ

-- end of rant --


... for now.

The final stretch

The year has kinda flown by.. and at the same time it has dragged on forever. But I think im near the final stretch. In about 3 weeks I will have handed in my competed thesis. Is that not a scary thought? Which means I really gotta get moving on writing. It seems so do-able now. In arms reach. Help me strive through this final stretch?

Only thing is I've caught a cold. Its terrible because it is only now that I realise how much I take for granted my health. How I wish i was not in so much pain so I could at least function and fight my battles. But coughing so my my throat feels like its bleeding :( I think I caught the cold on the night of my sister's wedding when I was welcoming the guests and getting them to sign the guestbook. Jeff had offered me his suit jacket like 3 times but me being so stubborn kept saying that I would be ok and refused. WHY WAS I SO STUBBORN!!! Now I'm like dying in pain when I should be fighting my thesis!

The wedding was pretty awesome. I was so amazed at how everything turned out. Sure there were like slip ups here and there and It was a little stressful but I stood back and remembered thinking wow I cant believe we pulled it off. It would have never worked if my sister wasn't so particular with everything and methodical. I dont think I could ever do it like she did. I only regret not making a speech. I should have. But I chickened out. And the MC announced that I chickened out. FML. But I really had no time to prepare a speech.. especially since I had to hand in my crappy assignment two day early.

So I guess the next thing to look forward to is Melbourne for me. Which is pretty awesome in itself. That and the handing in of my thesis. Will u come party with me once I am done?

*Love*

The Bride and Groom

The Bridal Party

Noelle and Mandy

Daniel Henney

What more needs to be said? *hearts*

Tanya, Lisa, Daniel Henney, RongChyi, Me, Mish and JC

s2 At Shilla Cafe~ East Perth s2

Those Three Words

I don't know if you have noticed.. then again its probably hard not to.. but I've been quite temperamental these days. I seem to have backed myself into a corner and I don't know how to get out. Even those things that used to make me happy~ even for just a while~ don't really help anymore. I sick of talking to people about it.. not because I'm sick of people.. but more because I'm sick of myself talking about the same ole crap.. if they don't find me annoying enough already I'm finding myself annoying. Why can't everything just stop rotating in my mind.

Its funny that three harmless words, those words that are meant to be empathetic, supporting and caring, are probably the three words that have made me cry the most. Are You Okay? I just don't know how to respond to that with anything else... is it because once those words are said I realise that the world can actually see my weaknesses. That I am transparent, that I'm crumbling into a million pieces and can no longer hold my senses together.

為什麼?
你能抖我開心嗎?
真的不知道怎麼沉下去了...
我是不是讓你們很失望 ...

A New Semester

My new semester starts tomorrow. This actually might (yes I said might) be my last semester for a long while. I only have 2 hours of class a week. Yes I know.. I'm not a real uni student *loves it*. Anyway I am looking forward to classes because this unit is on clinical psychology. Its been a while since I've done Clin classes and I think I always liked them. That's probably half my dilemma right there.. whether to do a masters in Clinical Psychology (which I have always had something for.. I mean all first year psychs always imagine themselves as Clins) or in IO (Industrial and Organisational Psychology). Why I would even consider IO is because yes.. there is a link to my economics degree and the Vac work I did previously with Deliotte. Who knows. Plus I don't think I intend on doing Masters any time soon.

Wedding stuff is getting closer and closer. I am very worried but at the same time excited for my sister. So much has to be done, but I really can't believe time has flew by so quickly. A year ago I remember complaining about my sister wanting me to sort out the music for the reception soon.. and now.. its almost time. So much has changed and so much to look forward to. Had the Hens day-night last weekend. Was interesting to say the least. It was meant to be Japanese themed and I got my Sister's friends to run around ikea for a treasure hunt. haha customers at Ikea were like is there some sort of event going on that we don't know about??! But all in good fun. I attempted to go harajuku..

Half of thesis draft almost done. Just a few hundred left.. due this Friday at 9am. Its totally do-able *hi-five* Can't wait to Shilla as a reward.. hahah I would Shilla anyways. Maybe I reward myself too much.. I got my hair treatmented today. Feels good. Lets just hope it lasts. I dunno why but I love the smell of the hairdressers.. and ur hair after u have been to the hairdressers :)

Anyways.. seems like its bed time.

Goodnite!

You know for every second that you look at the sky it is actually never the same. It seems so patient .. to wait above us for all time .. and yet its hard to notice that actually it is forever changing, forever moving forward, forever intangible.

It makes me wonder.. will you ever see the same piece of the sky that I see? Is there anyone looking up at what is sometimes taken for granted and thinking the same thing at the same time? Its so beautiful. I wonder if it knows it? haha stupid question right. haha

I want to sing more. But is it the same singing to myself in my room? Do i need the ktv? Is that even a question? haha I miss it. I miss the thrill of ktv. But I have come to realise that it actually must be done in the right company otherwise it is just not the same. What was the right company then might not be the same company now.. after all people move on right? Or maybe I've just come to accept that actually.. I do change too. I wish I didn't. I wish you could count on me to be the same person as I was for all time. But I know part of me has changed. Revolution?

Sister's Hens is next week. I'm actually quite looking forward to it. Mainly cos its a dress up haha ima look stupid again. Should be fun. I shall post up the photos after it. Hopefully I can pull off what I plan haha exciting.

Finally starting to figure out manual focus on my slr. One word: Awesome! Still much to learn. Lets go play?

With Love,

Stronger than that

Why is it that I must pretend that I am strong. That I can get thru it all. That I crushed and lost deep within. Why is it that I come across as being delicate but at the same time stable. Why is it that I refuse to cry in front of others when thats all I really need. Why is it that you cannot see these weakness of mine and stop me from my lies of being stronger than that.

Sometimes I really do feels so insignificant and vulnerable to all that is out there. I wish I knew it would be ok. I wish I knew myself like you know me. Afterall isn't it what everyone wants.. to feel protected .. protected from others, the world and yourself.

I no longer want to be .. stronger than that...

Haru Haru

I stare at my monthly planner on the wall.. in big red letter is reads THESIS: introduction and method first draft due, 30th July. It’s achievable. If I make the effort. Which I must.

But .. and yes there always must be a but .. my brain won't function. I need a delete button.. to delete all that was. haha but life is never that easy is it. I'm tired. I'm tired of thinking about the alternative roads. This is not how it played out in reality.. so why does it play out like that in my head? Why did I imagine myself like that? When in actuality I pretty much did the opposite? Is it my subconscious leaking into my conscious thoughts? ... all I really want to know is why. Questions that will never be answered.

Last night I had a session with Mishie and a few coronas. It was a chilled night. But it was a good night. Met a few new people too.. Its always good to expose yourself to new perspectives. So much for MIA right? I always say I want it.. Then when faced with it I get worried. Still going to say it tho.. cos who is going to stop me? You?

下雨天 ... 陪我的雨滴

Saturday Night

A Picture to say A Thousand Words

Home on a Saturday night is a bit weird. I mean its not as if I'm always out on Saturday night... am I? Anyway.. not the point. The point is that it feels quite weird. Do I have stuff to do? Yah.. honours work ... at at the same time it feels like im taking a break tonight. Bah. I don't even know what I'm trying to get at.

I've fallen in love with Shilla Cafe recently. Like seriously LOVE the place. I don't know why.. the atmosphere? The river? The Park.. its everything. I love East Perth. Which is a good thing because it lead to me and Lisa's plan for before 40! haha

Maybe I should just sleep. I like this photo of us today.. love winter photos.. lighting is always better on winter days...

Janice, Lisa and Noelle

-Another Winter Day-

You.

There is a first for everything. This might be one of my most honest posts yet.

I don't know how.. and why but I let you by my side. When I was prepared to say no.. somehow I still said yes. And slowly.. day by day you grew on me. My friends would not be surprised because it they know me too well. Know that I get attached to people, things and ideas all too easily. Is this what happened? When they were against it.. I still gave you a chance ... I still don't know why.

Maybe its true. I'm not good at showing people how I feel. I thought I was transparent... when in actual fact I'm quite the enigma when I choose to be. But I did think about it.. I did think about you.. I did think about us. Maybe that was just not enough.

At the end of the day. I have these memories. Be it for good or bad.. it will be a part of my history.

Don't regret. I will spend today forgetting ... and tomorrow will be my new start.

t-21. Goodbye. You.

Change

Everyone knows... I don't like change. Actually thinking about it seriously, does anyone really like change? I mean I get it if it is necessary for survival .. blah blah blah adaption and evolution reasons ... but change that comes out of the blue is a bit .. abrupt? That's not the right word. But people get defensive over change.

Having said all that. Do you like my new template? Its got a melancholy feel to it doesn't it. I think it suits me quite well. After all, we all know that I usually only blog when there is something wrong.

Half the year has already gone by. I actually think it had sped by quite quickly.. sooner or later I will really have written my thesis. It seems never ending now.. but it will be done, and I will move on. It hasn't really been a bad year for me so far. I mean it hasn't been spectacular, but really I think I've accomplished more this year that I have last. Its too early to judge, but I think I will look back on this year with fond memories. It has definitely been a year of firsts.

My poor SLR has been taking a break lately. I really wanna get out there and take some shots. I should really get into a photography class. Before this year is up, someone please make sure that I do. How awesome would it be to be able to take nice photos... haha maybe I should just stop standing in front of the camera then my photos might look better! haha

Mishie has finished her last exam for uni. Hurray for Mishie. But that also means I'm really the only one still at the uni campus. Oh wait. She was never really there anyways!! X)

Lisa got extended. I think its a good thing Lisa. I know that its hard to work with people ur not very fond of, but at the end of the day we all need to survive. Just take it until u find something you would love more.

Caz bought an apartment. I can't believe she bought an apartment LOL. Its mega awesome tho. Makes me really want one too.. but I have a long way to go in terms of savings. Maybe in a few years time. But in that case I should not holiday so much. :( but but but I Love holidays!!

Ali has started full time work. Its strange that Ali has full time work now. But I'm happy that he found something in his area. You suit the full time image.

Edshi is becoming a doctor. I haven't seen Edshi around much this year, but day by day he is getting closer to the doctor position. It sounds exhausting, but he has the strength to manage.

Tammy has moved out. She has found a place with Shane. I'm so happy for her.. and to think we were discussing how impossible this was just a few years ago. I'm looking forward to her housewarming!

And I. Am still writing the method section of my thesis that should have been done a week ago T.T back to work I go.

Leaving you with a thought...
How has your year been so far?

I Wonder

Will you remember me tomorrow? Will you remember me in a week? Will you remember me in a year? Its funny how people come and go from your life. And its funnier who you actually think about in a day ... there are people that are from my distant past that I miss so dearly now. Or is it the them in that past that I miss? Everything was so simple then .. or maybe just that I look at it now and it seems simple. I really don't know. No I don't think this is one of my depressive episodes, or at least I hope not. What I am trying to say is that ... you might not know it, because I don't say it much, but you ... the youse that has chosen to enter my life and give me the precious memories that I have now mean a lot to me. I will remember you and miss you for all that you have given me.

These day I have not the words to fill my thoughts...

Jinx

So .. I just jinxed myself. I got busy. Like crazy busy. I don't know where all these assignments have come from but they are all here to get me!!! 30% Stats lab report which seemed easy.. but decided to become all technical on me. So that is what I am currently working on, tho I don't know what has happened by writing is so much harder theses day. Or has it always been and I've just forgotten? In two weeks I will have my 60% essay due. Now that one is a major killer. Ima try to get started on it tomorrow! Its one of the more atypical assignments. Tho that is always the case with Vance's assignments. Its about designing a 3rd year Psychology history unit - what we would teach over 10 weeks and why. Sounds ok right? But I'm imagining the headache already. Then in that week I have tests for stats and exam coming soon. Luckily only one exam this year- 8th June yay XD

On the other side of this honours course is my thesis project. I FINALLY got ethics approval from the human research ethics committee. So I'm on a rush to begin my baseline data collection. All the logistics must be managed first tho .. which means more meeting, training sessions and thinking lol.

So I guess this is my notice of temporary MIA. I will try to uphold any promises I've already made in terms of social outings. I always been bad at organising my time. Sorry guys. I will be back soon. haha 8th of June looks like the likely date to crawl out of hibernation or probably once I hand in the 60% essay. haha but I say that now.. just watch me crave the social-ness. We are human after all and humans are social creatures.

See you soon...

Officially Missing You~

Looking for that Rainbow

I think I've mentioned it to people a lot lately, but I really don't feel like a student. Maybe because I only have 5 hours of "class/meetings" a week. Or maybe its because I don't see those familar faces at uni anymore. It's kinda scary to think that I've been at uni for 6 years now. Thats a whole med degree in itself. But instead.. I chose a path that leads to a blur.

Despite having so little classes, I know I still have a lot of things that I should be doing. Tho I kinda haven't figured out just what exactly it is that I should be doing. I'm stressed over being stressed. Presentation on Tuesday (slides done: check), Stats Assignment due following Monday (completed and edited: check and check), Essay due in two weeks (35% completed- quality unsure as always), Logistics for project started (Online Suvery Designed: check). So I have been doing stuff right? But why does it feel like I've only been spending my time sleeping and wasting away. Is it that I need to be more busier to realise that I actually need to do stuff. oooo I am so going to regret typing that.

I know now tho.. I am certainly not cut out for the academic life. So let it pass quickly... let me move on to more suitable things. I know life is not always about having fun and playing around.. but it must be more than essays and assignments right? Its hard to study when all ur friends are no longer studying.. or in Mishie's case never attend uni!!!

Almost 2 months since I've been back. My stuff has not arrived yet :( but I'm thinking it will be soon since I've tracked it to Australian Sea Customs. So just need them to give the all clear and then I shall have my stuff back :) Particularly looking forward to getting my guestbook back. I can't believe I stupidly put it in there. I wonder what else was in there... beginning to forget already. There are still little things that would just pop into my mind about Taiwan that would just make me stop ad smile. I don't know if it's a good thing tho.. cos it just makes me miss it more.. makes me miss them more. The other day mum wanted to make me ginger tea because I'm sick at the moment. It just made me think of New Years Eve. Hahah watching the fireworks with Ricky and his friends.. I was wearing a dress and a coat but never thought it would be what 10 degrees. Freezing my ass off! Ricky bought me ginger tea. It was so warming but being ginger (and me not liking the taste of ginger *yuk*) haha I just held it most of the night. Thanks Ricky. That was really an unforgettable night hahaha. Little memories like this make me think about all that I had done in those 2 months in Taiwan .. and compare it to the two months that I've been back. What a difference.

Maybe thats just it.. I want a busier life style. Minus the stress of honours haha.. if only.

Starting to get worried.. this chest pain of mine won't go away. Hopefully its nothing serious because as slack as I am .. I still don't think I have time for hospitals.

Back to... procrastination =.=

mind over matter

I can't seem to stop my mind from thinking these days. I know how much it is all hurting me.. but somehow I just can't seem to stop. It just keeps repeating in my mind and saying that I won't think about it anymore, just makes me think about it even more. Everyday I'm finding my actions, thoughts and beliefs are all contridicting.

Is happiness that hard to find. Or do I just want too much ...
I wish someone would just give me all the answers I am looking for...

Blind Rabbit

LOL.. everyone has been talking about their future lately... blind rabbit 瞇兔. haha Its so difficult to think about the future. I think I have always been a here and now person.. or at most one month ahead. Not because I don't like planning but because plans don't like me. They never pull thru. Maybe that says a lot about me :)

This week has been a bit crazy and yet at the same time.. a bit lazy. I've had extra meetings this week.. and conventions and workshops. All that means is a lot more early mornings. Proposal was officially handed in today XD doesn't it feel good? hahaha yah but going to have to start thinking about starting my thesis writing soon. Isn't that a scary thought. But I think starting now will make it easier on me later on.

Today. I paid $27 for parking. GRRRZZZ thats like $960NT!!! Thats crazy. It doesn't help that im broke at the moment :( That's what you get for parking at wilson's parking. All for academic purposes too .. meetings in the city with hotel management. It was somewhat interesting. I began to realise how many logistic problems can be accounted through research.

Anyways, After today's meeting I caught Lisa, Mishie and Ali for lunch at Harbour Town. It was good to lunch with Lisa since she's usually working so misses out on lunch sessions these days. After lunch we headed to Myer to buy presents for ourselves haha. Mine was a reward for my months of heartache doing the proposal that caused tears and aggitation. I bought myself essense by Narciso Rodriguez. I really like .. and not just cos it sparkles. hahaha. It came with heaps of free gifts too. That makes me extra happy. Tho I should really stop buying prefumes now.

After the shopping I had booked an appointment to get my hair cut :) It seems like so long since i had a hair cut, but really it was only like a 2 months ago lol .. ok so kinda long. Anyways just got it trimmed and my fringe back. I don't know why but it feels good to get your haircut. Its like a refreshed feeling. Like you are ready to battle the world again.. unless it turns out looking like you had a fight with a lawn mower and lost badly. However, I quite like today's trim. Will keep this hairdresser. But it looks like I always do haha nothing much changed.

~Essence by Narciso Rodriguez~

~Today's Haircut :)

Alrite.. have a lot of lectures to catch up on.. (since for some reason all the meetings were during the only 5 hours of class I have a week)

Laters dear blog readers.

Music~

What is it about this artistically serendipitous collaboration of sounds that is so enchanting to the mind. As it has come up in conversations over and over again, there is an attraction towards all things musical. Including people. Who can deny that it is overly beautiful to observe another in the act of music. Whether it be a beautiful voice, a melodious strumming, talented hands ... the list goes on. Music is hot! It is mesmerising and I can only hope the I can continue to be mesmerised.

Loving the sound of... Officially Missing You

My Silent Corner

So while the world carries on with all its business that must be done.. I sit here and and write to the only people that are will to hear me rant at this point in time.

Maybe its just a case of monday-itis. But seriously, I can't take this anymore. Having to revise my proposal so many times that I have been driven insane. Everyone has told me that psychology honours is hard. We all know it. And yet tell me why again I am even doing this? So many people have told me to quit already. The only thing holding me to this is the fact that I am not a quitter. I'm a complainer. But I cannot quit. I must finish what I start. So what is it that is bothering me so much. Well, truth.. my fear of failure. I keep telling myself that its ok to fail.. fail means to learn.. if we don't make mistakes how do we learn? But somehow none of it goes in. I'm still scared as hell to fail. Someone help me.

Maybe its just that I need someone to talk to.. and not even about honours. It feels so lonely to be back in perth. I know I still have my friends.. but everyone is busy with their own things.. which is fair enough .. because we all must live our lives. Maybe it was just because I got used to having people in Taiwan. Living with Yuvina we talked heaps.. I mean like every night before we slept we would have our little chats.. and sometimes it was pretty random about our lives, what we did, where we want to go, the hilarious little event of the other day.. but I had someone there. I miss that.

Its 11pm.. I feel like going for a walk. Its not possible here. I feel like going to the rooptop of my Taiwan appartment and soaking up the atmosphere. Its something I won't get to do for a really long time..

Lets hope this is just a phase.

In pieces.

I wish I knew

It seems like I've been back for a long time already.. but the reality of it is .. its only been 2 weeks. haha I know .. I can't believe it either. And here I am complaining that I can't settle back into life. I must really give it time.

It feels like its been a while since I've smiled. I need someone to make me laugh again.

Honours is... draining.. although at the moment I really can't think of what I should be doing. I've done my readings (most of them) and I think I'm up to date with my proposal editing. I know there is more to do.. there must be .. but I think I may just have forgotten something.

Gosh and the weather. I think I am getting used to the heat.. since it hasn't been so hot lately but I keep falling asleep!! ok so maybe that doesn't count as getting used to haha but I need to wake up!! Like seriously!

Back to my first 6am shift at the post office again tomorrow. I'm not doing it everyday. Just Tuesdays and Wednesdays. But I'm begining to get worried, mainly because I don't remember how to wake up that early. I took on my old habits of sleeping at 3am again when I was in Taiwan. I blame it all on the guys! Mainly Jason who stayed up to talk to us until crazy hours hahah. What fun. I learnt a lot in those conversations. Missing it.

Been back at the kitchen again. It been so long since I cooked .. it kinda feels strange. I was worried that I would forget how to do it all.. On Saturday cooked my first Kway Teow since I got back. Burned my hand doing so. You know its strange.. before the trip I used to burn my hand all the time. LIKE ALL THE TIME. I had a lot of oil burn scars. And yeah they hurt.. but you'd get use to it. This time burning my hand it HURT LIKE HELL!!! It wasn't even a major burn. But it hurt sooo much I don't understand how .. why.. *sigh* must be a bit more careful.

~My Fried Kway Teow~

Noelle needs a new life or rather needs something new in her life.. any suggestions?

Addicted to Melody and Harmony - JaeJoong & YooChun

Different Outlook

My Last day.. at Taiwan Airport *cries*

Ha. So much for blogging while I was in Taiwan right? So much had happened there.. so many stories that I just didn't know where to begin. I really did have the time of my life there.. I was really happy. I could really see myself living in Taiwan and I think I will try to make it happen. Its just so different from what I have known and yet I had expected all along for it to be so awesome. I miss it.. I miss it so much.

Mr J. Chou's Resturant with Ali

Clubbing at Spark

The memories in Taiwan will always be dear to my heart.. the people I have met are so beautiful.. Its really hard to explain but there is so much to love there. In part it might also be the freedom that I had while I was there. Having our own appartment and being able to go out whenever... we set our own rules and I love how even though that was the case we didn't go crazy. I miss that. Its not that I'm extensively restricted here.. but there are somethings that I just could never get away with here ... our secrets in Taiwan >_-

Awesome Korean Food *drools*

So much happened in those 2 months.. yes I did the celebrity thing.. not quite stalking but enough to meet JAY CHOU!! I tried a lot of food.. I visited a lot of places.. I did all the scary rides at a theme park.. I took crazy photos at tourist places.. Learnt a lot of new chinese words (some more pleasant than others haha).. I shopped.. Night marketed.. Clubbed.. KTVed... Hosted a party.. Spoke to randoms.. Made new friends from all over the world.. 7/11ed.. Stayed out till dawn.. Attended a Concert.. Attended autograph sessions.. gosh and so much more. There is so much to tell you but if I tried it might take a million pages. I'm glad a kept a diary ... but like my blog there aren't as many entries as I had hoped. Nevertheless these memories will remain will me for years and years to come.

In BeiTou- Our Awesome Panarama shot:

Noelle, Yuvina and Jason

So I've been back for like almost 2 weeks now. How does it feel to be back? We'll quite frankly it sucks! Like I was talking to Lisa about it today.. its like going from everything to nothing >< But I haven't really had time to really settle back into life here. The day I got back is when I started to get bombarded with honours. I was dealing -or not dealing- will honours when I was in Taiwan but now that I'm back it seems to have hit me like a tonne of bricks. I guess its annoying when I hear how other supervisors treat their honours students and I know its wrong to compare but at times its depressing to see the difference. I wonder why I chose to do honours in the begining.. but now that I have started it.. I must finish. Hwaiting!

I have a meeting every Thursday morning ><><). So I must work harder.

Things will be different this year.. I don't know how.. or why ... but I just have the feeling that they will be.

Time for bed (must sleep early for once - its 1 am hahaha)

Goodnight

I love Taipei XD

Kuma's Taiwan Family

hahah have you guys seen LeeHom's new ad. It's called I love Taipei. And dude I wish I was in it. hahah can't beleive that I've almost been here for 3 weeks already. Time is flying by these days.. oh no.. my holiday is almost half way ><>

Last weekend I went to get my hair done. I got it curled? not quite.. its like waves. I was so scared that I would turn out like a poodle!! But now.. it doesn't even look like its curled at all. ><>

I think it makes me look older :(

With Yuvina and the HairDresser Kudi

With Erin at Wu Fen Pu

Then on Sunday we went to Dan Shui. It was such a sunny day. At the moment sunny days are hard to come by. It almost always is raining here and cold. But on Sunday it was 18 degrees and just nice. Which was really good because it made Dan Shui look s much more prettier.. once again there was too much to see there and not enough time!! I really wanna go back. Esp since I didn't get to eat my long soft serve icecream *sulks* haha I'll get it next time. Anyways. That day Ann took us to a really nice cafe for dinner. The food was pretty good but the scenery was even better. It got a little cold at night tho and the bus drivers were like crazy!! They drive crazy fast and the road is not exactly straight!! All in all it was another awesome weekend.

What can I say really.. but I love Taipei.

Oh I started a Taiwan Wretch Diary at www.wretch.cc/blog/s2noelle

It will mainly my chinese blog. SO I will still be updating here.. but I will probably write more everyday happenings on wretch :)

Catchyas!

Maybe in 2010

Sorry for the absence in blogging. The truth is I'm trying to get used to Taiwan's everything and I think I'm slowly coming around. I must say that this weekend that just passed has been the most eventful and fun so far!

Taipei Main Station ><

On the night of new year's eve I went out with a few friends to the new year's eve concert. The one where the big names such as LeeHom, Rainie and Farenheit would be appearing in. OMG there was so many people that it was so not funny! I came out people phobic. I am serious. Public transport particularly was a biatch!! But we eventually made it to the event. Too bad we couldn't really see the stage. So we missed the second half of the concert to be able to go watch the 101 fireworks. Taiwan's fireworks are very well known.. if you guys didn't know already. The show was quite cool.. and I got some decent shots! But I missed out on watching LeeHom :( haha its ok I think I will have another chance at meeting him while I'm in Taipei... I don't know why but I really think I will have a chance.

Taiwan Up?

After the fireworks we made a slow trek back. And by slow I mean slow. Mainly cos I wore heels (bad idea) and it was FREZZING!! Like 12 degrees! My friend said that 12 degrees is considered warm!! Gah! So after the fireworks we went to go watch the raising of the national flag. It was to be raised at 6am. LOL and there was apparently free scarfs if you went early. So we went at 3.30am to get the scarf.. but it was so fail LOL we didn't manage to get them ><><>

Random Fan who helped us firgure out we need a queue number

Then on the Saturday, it was time to do some star stalking haha. No Farenheit had an autograph session at Xi Men Ding. And of course we were there like *click* but Taiwanese fans are pretty hard core... they beat us to it. LOL We didn't even know that you had to get a queue number.. so by the time we figured that out we were number 855 to get signed :( and we had been there at 11.30am when the even was to start at 2pm. It was raining really badly that day and we all got really wet. Luckily Yuvina and I went to the 7/11 to get umbrellas! The waiting process was so bad.. it went so slowly! Yuvina almost gave up cos she was so hungry and needed to pee. But eventually we got near to our turn. That was at about 7pm!! So when our number got called we were so excited.. with only 20 people in front of us we held up our signs mine read "with love from Australia". haha. While I was at the front I saw Jiro give a *sigh* and then looked at my direction.. so I did the 'Jia You' gesture to him. AND HE SAW ME!! He smiled back said Jia you and waved to me *dies* hahah such a fan girl. So I took the chance to show him my sign. He looked puzzled when trying to read it (maybe cos it was a bit tattered by the rain) but then Calvin told him Australia. hah then Calvin turned to ask me Australia? Really? Where? Sydney or Melbourne? I told him Pertttthhhhhh!!! haha it was so awesome. We got to shake their hands and talk to them while on stage when they were signing the cards omg so awesome. Gah Yuvina and I were totally star struck. They were so nice and so much more good looking in real life hahah.

The end result *dies*

Then Yesterday we did some more star searching. I got autographed cds from Lin You Jia and Rainie Yang!! It was pretty awesome. But I don't think those two could be the Farenheit experience, mainly cos we waited so long for Farenheit.. and it was a lot quicker for the others. Still very awesome tho!

Also Also Caz Caz and Will are in Taiwan at the moment. *yay* we're going out to celebrate Will's Birthday tonight! Hopefully they will have an awesome time here. Its so good to see familiar faces!

Caz Caz and Will

Gah ok enough story time for now..

Until next time

Much Love!