Eight Letter Word Stamped on My Forehead

You tell yourself not to get ur hopes up. Don't expect anything from it at all.. you did it only to see how far you could get... but somehow no matter how much u repeated those words in your head, none of it actually got thru.

Then without noticing you let urself... you let urself daydream a little and then u begin to imagine yourself in the situation.. imagining the possibility. AND then worse of all U plan... you plan based on your expectations.

In actual fact, you had just set a trap for urself. A trap where all the pieces of your house of card have just collapsed in your face and you're left wondering how U let urself get to this stage.. let urself want it in the first place.

I got the email from Deloittes today.. after waiting for the call the whole day and rushing home from my Jap class (which I was late to). My application would not be processed any further for the Dream Team Competition 2008. Disappointed is the understatement of the century.. but I don't regret applying of course.

Just made me think and question myself... I dont think my Hong Kong Internship plans are going to go ahead. I will still try for them.. but I'm just not sure about it at all anymore. I'm really not sure about any internship plans actually...

Feeling scarred (by that word) and vulnerable..

Two days of progress?

So hibernation happened. Turned off everything for 2 days. Yups a whole two days.. that's my story and I'm sticking to it. It was kinda a relief at times to know that it was off. I dunno why, but yesterday walking to the bus stop It felt good knowing that my phone was off. It was kinda free-ing. heheh doesn't mean I want to do it again tho. Its good once in a while, but I'm glad I'm back into the civilised world.

So what did I accomplish? Well... I finished that cover letter! .. AND.. I submitted my application for dream team last night too. A whole day early can U believe it? [Fingers crossed that I get accepted for the competition because I really do feel that this would be a good challenge to know what it's like out there, and whether or not I can cope.] On top of that, I got some study done, a bit of readings and sleep. So it was a good two days for my academics. Hopefully going to continue the trend for the weekend, even tho there seems to be a bit planned for Saturday.

5 weeks of uni have passed already. I think I have learnt quite a lot, but even so I am falling a bit behind. So plan... TRY HARDER! STUDY MORE!

I think I'm broker than I've ever been. I don't understand how tho, I haven't been out, haven't gone shopping, haven't even lunched for such a long long long loooong time. Its all crazy! SAving money sucks. But I guess its for Taiwan plans so all worth it in the end?!? Rite? (someone convince me that I'm doing the right thing coz I really feel like going on a YeaAsia splurge).

hmmm... do you sometimes feel that there is something bigger out there planned for you. I dunno why this feeling sweeps over me from time to time. I'm excited, but maybe it's me just daydreaming. hehe still good daydreams.

Nope.. too bad.. I was gonna upload a picture of an empty gelare's waffle plate, but I'm too lazy rite now. Went waffling 2 weeks in a row now (on Tuesday of course.. saving remember). Once with Nic, Lu and Mishie, and then this week with Caz and Mishie. O btw Caz did u actually end up finishing that question before we went waffling ? =p

Okay now I know I'm just drifting with my thoughts so I better go do something more productive.. like gym or sleep.

Laters