Last Week of This Chapter

It's been a while. And although I've thought about you a lot... I couldn't bring myself to write. It's a little more difficult these days to share my thoughts. It's not just to you, but to people in general. Going through a difficult year I guess.

The past two months have been really something. I think to explain the last two months only two words really apply. Life Changing. Three big things have happened.

Number one. The finalised sale of our Restaurant. After 6 years, 8 months and 6 days I stood in that kitchen and cooked my last dishes. It was a bitter sweet end to all the hard work and struggles. We managed to notify most of our regular customers and I got to say goodbye to my favourites. The last few weeks were crazy busy and since I worked there every night for the last 2-3 months of the restaurant it was so incredibly tiring. I really don't know how my parent's lived through this kind of lifestyle for so long. I'm glad they finally get the break they deserve~one where they don't have to worry about how the kitchen would need to be prepared when they come back from their break. For me it feels a little strange to have all this time again. Most of all having a weekend again. Dim Sum on Sundays. Everything is refreshingly new but at the same time I do sense the loss. The new owners will be opening soon and I think I will try to visit them on their first day.. as that part of our chapter close.. it's just the beginning for these young owners and I'm sure they would love the support.

Mini Curry Laksa

Number two. After a universe of applications, a sea of rejections, hundreds of cognitive testing, dozens of assessment centers and a handful of interviews... I finally got a job offer :) Strangely enough, I got the offer the day after our last day at the restaurant. And even more strangely ... it was for a place that I actually never finished my application for. I got an email sent to my junk mail asking me for a phone interview and then one thing lead to another. It was all a lot of luck and I am very grateful for this opportunity. So in about a week I will be starting a new chapter. To say that I'm scared is a bit of an understatement. But excited at the same time to see where this will take me. hehe I've also had a little bit of a wardrobe change as I'm beginning to shop for work clothes. Hopefully I'll be good enough to let you my dearest blog know how I go on my first week.

Number three. So from the time of selling the restaurant and starting a new job I've had about a month's time. The biggest thing that I've done in this time is renovate my room! To go with the new chapter the room has been repainted, carpets ripped up and floorboards put in. Let go of a few things and cleaned up a bit more. Having to move everything out of my room was a little scary. I didn't realise how much.. stuff.. I have. It was kinda like having a feel of what reallocating would feel like ... and it was really strange. I would still like to work outside of Perth but my bedroom will always feel like the only space that is completely mine. I love the new look. It suits a fresh beginning.

~The Before Shot~

~The After Shots~

So now there is just you left? Where do we stand these days? I don't really know anymore.

Since When...

Since when did I stop believing? Since when did I start seeing all the flaws? Since when did nothing matter anymore? I really don't know.

I've had no news from the Brisbane job as yet. Its quite worrying especially considering how much I loved the company. However, following the forum, quite a few people haven't heard anything yet, some people have been given offers and others rejections. I guess I really just have to wait for the all important call. Tho at this stage it really looks like a rejection for me. Even though I was so excited about starting a new chapter and starting fresh.

I have another three interviews over the next few weeks. I am quite nervous and at the same time very calm. Doing research and reading - it feels like uni all over again. But speaking of uni, I think there was so much that I could have done. I wouldn't say I regret it, but if I were to live it again I would hope to do a few things differently and do more. I miss learning. Everyone said you would after graduating and I really do. So much so that I watch a lecture on TV last night and was so utterly intrigued. It was by Sam Harris, the author of The Moral Landscape.

These days have been filled with much thinking. Mainly about what I want in life. I've been given the time to do all the things that I've always wanted to do- so I should use the time well. I applied to be a red cross volunteer a while back. They have responded, but I am waiting for further correspondence from the hospital as to how I will be volunteering. I'm actually excited about this opportunity and really hope to get some news from it soon. I have also been thinking about going back to do TAFE course- language courses are probably most likely for me, but I wouldn't mind courses in health and safety or tourism. But we shall see, since there is still a number of loose ends to be tied up here and there.

Travel is always a big thing for me. And no matter how much I say I won't travel anymore for a while... I always seem to be thinking about it. haha if only I was courageous enough to make it part of my career. Still can't decide between a few destinations. But all is dependent upon whether I do land a graduate position for next year. I have a feeling that either way I will be doing some travelling this year ^^ lets see if I'm right?

The Waiting Game

I'm obsessed. Completely and utterly obsessed. I can't stop thinking about it as the scenarios all play out in my mind. Every second of every day I keep wondering is it possible that I could be so lucky? Is it possible that this could be my break through, my new start? And most of all I question... Can I really do this?

Last week was quite an eventful one for me. I went on a road trip down to Esperance with PooPoo, PeePee and 5 other people. It was a crazy 8 hour drive with breaks here and there. It was a tiring drive haha but none of the others trusted me to drive during the whole trip. Frankly, I really don't blame them! haha. Esperance was quite an experience mainly because I got to spend some time with my sister. Ever since she got married moved out from home we haven't really had a chance to just be in each others company. I missed that. Even if it meant tolerating a yukky motel styled shelter ^^. My main aim for the Esperance trip was to take a few good photos. I've been playing around with the dSLR more often these days and even tho I'm still learning I think I'm starting to get the hang of it.. well the sort of pictures I would like to take ^^

~The only picture worth taking of the accommodation lol~

~ The view from above~

~PooPoo donated her shoes to me to climb the rocks~

~From the Jetty~

~Probably the Awesomest Jump Shot Photo I've EVER taken~

During the Esperance trip, I had something that plagued my mind. Something I didn't think I would even get the opportunity to do. An interview. The morning after returning from Esperance I was set to take a flight to Brisbane to attend an interview for a position that I had previously applied for. It was the final interview before an offer would be made and my first face to face interview throughout the masses of applications I had made. The company had paid for the flights and accommodation in Brisbane. It was very generous. Through the whole process, I had tried to read up as much as I could about the company. About its values, projects, objectives and interests. The more I read, the more obsessed I became. The company has reached the point where I find it perfect. Correction, perfect for me.

The interview went okay for me. I was more calm then I thought I would be. I admit there were a few questions that stumped me a little. But I think I gave it my best. That's all that I could as from myself right? I even had some time to catch Ann for dinner and explore a bit of Brisbane which I was quite happy about. It was my first time there. So now I fast forward to now. Now I am in the waiting game again. Waiting beside my phone for that all important call. I don't have any idea about how many other people I am competing with. Nor do I have information about when I am expected to hear back from them. But I can't get it out of my mind. I'm scared and excited at the same time. What this position means to me is more than a career... its actually a life change. It would mean starting a new chapter and starting it pretty much from scratch. From the other side of the coin... this could just be an experience. I could still definitely be rejected at this stage. And its a reality that I've been considering more and more. I mean really? Could I be lucky enough to land a position like this?

Bubble Burst

I just got rejected from DFAT's third stage :( am kinda more cut then I should be considering I know how hard it would have been to get through at all. I will try again next year! Starting to lose hope on these applications. Though I have another phone interview tomorrow. Hopefully someone will give me a chance soon~

Relocating?

Ok the title might have been a little misleading. I am not reloacting just yet. But I've been thinking it over quite a bit lately. This topic has come up a few times over the past few years. And everytime it has I have settled with the idea that yes, I can relocate. But can I really? I woke up today and as I walked out of my room towards the bathroom, I suddenly missed home. I know it doesn't make any sense because I am home now... but I suddenly thought about how much I would miss walking down my hallway ... miss my room where I have dwelled and comforted myself ... miss walking past my sisters' rooms to peek if they were awake... so could I really do it? In all the job applications to date relocations has come up quite a bit. With more prospects interstate it is likely that I would have to consider this option in my future. I'm approaching this question quite seriously now. And I am worried. Can I really leave my comfort zone and start a new chapter? Only time will tell. Monday will be a big day for me ... i'm kinda really scared but also excited about the prospects. I'll let you know more about it all soon ^^ side note: having issues with the paragraphing in blogger T.T

Who Would Have Thought?

Just as I don't know what my life will be like in five years time, I would have never guessed that this is where I am today. Someone once told me that all things happen for a reason. I know its a very general statement... but it isn't until recently that I've really tried to apply this concept. I have the most awful nauseating headache today. I have no idea why. Maybe it was from walking in the rain yesterday and having a slight cold. Unfortunately for me I should have notified my interviewer today of my "disability". Yes, I finally at least got the opportunity to speak to an employer in the progress of my application. It was a unexpected call. And I really think I didn't do as well as I would have wished. I am disappointed in myself. But at the same time happy that I made it that far. The assessment centre event will be held on Monday. So I guess if I don't hear from them again before the close of business today then I'm out :( The waiting game is always hard. I'm trying to document as much of my thoughts during this period as possible. I want to be able to look back on these days and re-experience what was felt. To remember how much effort I put into getting where I am now. So excuse all the talk about graduate applications. I need to continue with new applications.. but getting caught up with cognitive testings and the progress with firms that I have recently heard from. Wanting more information ... waiting ... the process is torture... hahah how have I responded? Instead of being on facebook these days I've spent my time stalking Whirlpool forums. Its surprising how many times I check it a day == almost as much as I check my emails!.. I said ALMOST. Off I go... to check my email T.T

Unreasonable

So some of the applications that I've put in have come back. Some of them rejections :( but for some of them I've made it to stage 2 :) ... Stage two is typically an online cognitive test. Usually verbal, numerical and abstract reasoning. And after doing a few of these tests I've realised that it is a bit of a weak point of mine. Maybe becauses its a test that you can't study for. I've done a few practice tests which I hope will help... I just hope to make it to the third stage. One step at a time right? Well I'm still working on applications as now is the time when most of the closing dates are approaching. Also I'll be heading to Esperence for Easter this year. So I've got to get all the ones due during that time period done well before I head off. I'm quite excited about Esperence... I've always wanted to travel more around WA, but somehow never got round to it... must be because I've become too lazy to plan thing anymore. This should be a good experience.. tho I am worried because they hope to live on the fish that is caught... and I... umm... don't like eating fish >< We shall have to wait and see. I can't wait to bring my camera too!! I'm sure I'll be able to get a few nice shots there, I mean Australia really is quite beautiful when u get the chance to look around. Ok plan for the rest of the night... 1. Eat dinner 2. Complete the cognitive test invite 3. Work on DFD graduate application. Jia You!!!

Snippets of the Past

So when I'm a little bored or something sparks my interest I tend to go back into old conversations and letters to see what life was like before. Its also to find out fragment of missing memory that I could have sworn never happened. But either way ... I always learn something out of my quest sessions .. and most of the time it makes me smile and acknowledge how far I have come.. how far we have come. Tonite, it was Lisa. I went to check the MSN chat logs to figure out if she said something to me last night or I had just dreamt it. Turns out it was an SMS ... but it got me looking through our chat history. (I shouldn't even be telling u guys that I keep these - since they are so private). Anyways, through these chat logs there were so many memories. Lisa is one of my oldest friends... and definitely one who has seen me through so many of my dramas. So looking thru all the conversations and all that had happened in my life then really made me reflect. There were definitely a lot of laughs in those logs. So thanks Lisa, I know I rarely get the chance to say it to you, but I'm glad you have been a part of my life and making it all the more enjoyable hehe. I really do appreciate your support through the good times and bad. Reading the logs made me feel selfish but taught me to be grateful for all I have. An I am grateful for ur unfaltering faith in me to be nothing more and nothing less than me.

Yippie!

I got into the second stage for Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade ^^ That is two out of lol six stages? Second stage is cognitive testing again... so I am worried. Rushing to do practise tests before I attempt the real thing. I know chances I get through are impossibly low but ima give it my best! I happy that I at least got t stage 2 *hi-five*

Burger Wars

Hi people ^^ How have u been? Me? Still facing the sound of unemployment. I attended graduation for the second time last night. Why would I go through that awful process again? Well parentals asked me to do it ... something about the proud factor. Fair enough after all they have put up with me in my honours year. So that means as of last night I really am unemployed. I have been making progress though. Since all the graduate program applications are open now and a lot of them closing soon, I've made it my goal to get through as many applicable to me as possible. Slowly but sure. A few rejections have come through from applications I had completed a month ago. Its funny because looking back, I can understand why. The difference between the applications written now and the ones written a month ago are huge! Other than that I haven't really heard back from many. I did get to stage two of the NAB application tho ^^ it was for online assessment of written, numerical and logical reasoning. I learnt that I have none. haha we shall just have to see...

Anyways since coming home I have caught up with a few friends and the trend seems to be for burgers. I guess Perth is really trying out this gourmet burger thing. Anyway over the past month I've been to Burger Bristo, Grill'd and Jus Burgers and surprisingly they are quite different.

-Grill'd-

This was my first dose of Perth's Gourmet Burgers. Although I had heard about places including Alfred's Kitchen and Jus Burgers, Grilled was my first taste of hearty burgers that weren't mass produced by a group of teenagers. I took my sister here for her birthday last year just before flying off on my holidays and it left me craving. For the month and a half away from Perth I couldn't believe I was craving something at home! The texture of the bun which was soft and yet had substance was what I found most pleasing with this burger. I think of them all this was my favourite. After coming home from holidays I caught up with Anthony to check out his new camera and introduce him to Grill'd. I can safely say we have another addict. Service was great too and the atmosphere of Beaufort Street is always busy... I give it a 9/10!

Craving... *drools*

- Burger Bristo -

Apparently a new burger joint had opened up in Leedy while I was gone. Alii-Lii asked me to come down and try the place as well as have a little catch-up session during his lunch break. I must say after the taste of Grill'd my expectations were set pretty high but at the same time I was really looking forward to Burger Bristo. Being late that day I was thankful for the fast service as Ali was rushing to get back to work. The burgers were tasty.. definitely.. and at the same time I didn't feel as if I damaged any health routine by eating it.. but something was missing. It was the bun. It was a little harder and flakier than I would have expected. It was a little more difficult to eat. Still thoroughly enjoyable but unfortunately not as good as Grill'd... I give it a 6/10.

Can you see all the brie!!

- Jus Burgers -
Planning a catch up session with Tammy, Ruth and Alan is always a bit of a challenge as we all work on very different schedules but I'm always so grateful when we get the chance to meet up over coffee, lunch or dinner. Unfortunately, for our recent session we were without Alan. But we decided on Jus Burgers for dinner. I think Jus burgers were the first gourmet burgers that I had know about.. but just never gotten round to trying until a week ago. We tried the newly opened branch on Williams Street. I loved the atmosphere of the place and the girls would agree that it is a cute little place for good food and good company. Trying not to be influenced by all the laughter of the night and solely judging on the burger is a little difficult. But in my honest opinion, I think Jus Burgers meet my standards. The only disappointment I had was with the pineapple in the burger I had chosen. By the time I made it half way through the burger.. the pineapple had made the bun all soggy :( but I am deciding to put this down as a choice since I decided to have the burger with pineapple. All in all I was pleased with what I got. Shout out to the friendly staff too ^^ I give Jus Burgers 8/10

With a pomegranate shake on the side

Sorry for the long rant and poorly written food review... I decided I'm better at eating than I am at reviewing lol I guess I should stick to eating ^^

== Unemployment

Sitting in Ms.Cooper's class trying to understand the concepts of Economics and listening to her explain the Australian definition of the Unemployment Rate.

"The unemployment rate is the proportion of individuals willing and able to work, but cannot find a job. "

Little did I know that I would be part of that percentage today. *sad face* It has been just over a month since I came back from my holidays... and whilst I admit I didn't start the job hunt immediately... I'm starting to feel the desperation. I don't like the idea of being part of that statistic I learnt so much about in my studies. I guess no one really does. But who would have thought that I would be here. I guess it never really occurred to me that I would be unemployed straight after graduation. That I wouldn't be one of the lucky ones that go from one life stage (University) straight to the next (Working). Naive. That's what it is. I am naive.

I know there are others just as bad.. or have been looking for longer.. giving me little reasons to complain. But I just wanted to say... if you didn't know it already... UNEMPLOYMENT SUCKS!

Story of a girl

Let me tell u a little story... but be warned this story has no end just yet. Are you still prepared to listen?

There once was a girl who was good at a lot of things but great at nothing. Growing up she was a good girl. She was good to her parent. Good to her siblings. Good to her friends. If there was one word that she could use to describe herself it would have to be paitent. haha U thought I was going to say good didn't you! Anyways, she believed that good things came to good people and that all she had to do was wait for her opportunity to shine.


Waiting for the right opportunity wasn't easy, but she tried very hard to focus. She believed she had good morals and ethics... As a student she didn't even consider the thought of cheating. She wanted to work hard for what she got so that she knew that she deserved all she was given. But as time went on she started to forget why she was being so good. She started to forget why she wanted to work so hard. She slowly forgot where she wanted to go.

Seeing other get to place that she wanted without putting in the same effort made her feel uneasy about the way she was doing things. Was it jealousy? Or was her patience starting to wear thin? She started questioning whether she was right to even be so good anymore...

She is lost.

- To be continued -

Only You

Sorry my dearest blog... I've been away and back and yet did not leave a footprint. I would love to promise that I will blog more but I shall make no promises that I am certain I cannot keep. Today my heart hurts a little and I have only you to tell.

Ok ... so maybe its not a little.. but more like a lot. But I have not cried yet. Is it because crying will do me no good? I'm not sure quite. But so much pain and no tears. I'm a little worried. The reality of it is no one is ever at fault when it comes to matters of the heart or is that wishful thinking?

There is so much on my mind. But I really don't know how to express myself very well. I'm finding this to be the case more and more these days. Maybe that's why I haven't found a job yet. That and my five page resume? Tell me why is this so hard?

I wish that I didn't miss him so much. Because he probably doesn't miss me anymore. That's a stupid reason isn't it. But I'm sticking with it because I'm a stupid girl hehe.

I guess I no longer cross your mind anymore.
I pray that I will keep thinking I have nothing to regret... if one day I cannot maintain these thoughts... will you help me?