Since When...

Since when did I stop believing? Since when did I start seeing all the flaws? Since when did nothing matter anymore? I really don't know.

I've had no news from the Brisbane job as yet. Its quite worrying especially considering how much I loved the company. However, following the forum, quite a few people haven't heard anything yet, some people have been given offers and others rejections. I guess I really just have to wait for the all important call. Tho at this stage it really looks like a rejection for me. Even though I was so excited about starting a new chapter and starting fresh.

I have another three interviews over the next few weeks. I am quite nervous and at the same time very calm. Doing research and reading - it feels like uni all over again. But speaking of uni, I think there was so much that I could have done. I wouldn't say I regret it, but if I were to live it again I would hope to do a few things differently and do more. I miss learning. Everyone said you would after graduating and I really do. So much so that I watch a lecture on TV last night and was so utterly intrigued. It was by Sam Harris, the author of The Moral Landscape.

These days have been filled with much thinking. Mainly about what I want in life. I've been given the time to do all the things that I've always wanted to do- so I should use the time well. I applied to be a red cross volunteer a while back. They have responded, but I am waiting for further correspondence from the hospital as to how I will be volunteering. I'm actually excited about this opportunity and really hope to get some news from it soon. I have also been thinking about going back to do TAFE course- language courses are probably most likely for me, but I wouldn't mind courses in health and safety or tourism. But we shall see, since there is still a number of loose ends to be tied up here and there.

Travel is always a big thing for me. And no matter how much I say I won't travel anymore for a while... I always seem to be thinking about it. haha if only I was courageous enough to make it part of my career. Still can't decide between a few destinations. But all is dependent upon whether I do land a graduate position for next year. I have a feeling that either way I will be doing some travelling this year ^^ lets see if I'm right?

The Waiting Game

I'm obsessed. Completely and utterly obsessed. I can't stop thinking about it as the scenarios all play out in my mind. Every second of every day I keep wondering is it possible that I could be so lucky? Is it possible that this could be my break through, my new start? And most of all I question... Can I really do this?

Last week was quite an eventful one for me. I went on a road trip down to Esperance with PooPoo, PeePee and 5 other people. It was a crazy 8 hour drive with breaks here and there. It was a tiring drive haha but none of the others trusted me to drive during the whole trip. Frankly, I really don't blame them! haha. Esperance was quite an experience mainly because I got to spend some time with my sister. Ever since she got married moved out from home we haven't really had a chance to just be in each others company. I missed that. Even if it meant tolerating a yukky motel styled shelter ^^. My main aim for the Esperance trip was to take a few good photos. I've been playing around with the dSLR more often these days and even tho I'm still learning I think I'm starting to get the hang of it.. well the sort of pictures I would like to take ^^

~The only picture worth taking of the accommodation lol~

~ The view from above~

~PooPoo donated her shoes to me to climb the rocks~

~From the Jetty~

~Probably the Awesomest Jump Shot Photo I've EVER taken~

During the Esperance trip, I had something that plagued my mind. Something I didn't think I would even get the opportunity to do. An interview. The morning after returning from Esperance I was set to take a flight to Brisbane to attend an interview for a position that I had previously applied for. It was the final interview before an offer would be made and my first face to face interview throughout the masses of applications I had made. The company had paid for the flights and accommodation in Brisbane. It was very generous. Through the whole process, I had tried to read up as much as I could about the company. About its values, projects, objectives and interests. The more I read, the more obsessed I became. The company has reached the point where I find it perfect. Correction, perfect for me.

The interview went okay for me. I was more calm then I thought I would be. I admit there were a few questions that stumped me a little. But I think I gave it my best. That's all that I could as from myself right? I even had some time to catch Ann for dinner and explore a bit of Brisbane which I was quite happy about. It was my first time there. So now I fast forward to now. Now I am in the waiting game again. Waiting beside my phone for that all important call. I don't have any idea about how many other people I am competing with. Nor do I have information about when I am expected to hear back from them. But I can't get it out of my mind. I'm scared and excited at the same time. What this position means to me is more than a career... its actually a life change. It would mean starting a new chapter and starting it pretty much from scratch. From the other side of the coin... this could just be an experience. I could still definitely be rejected at this stage. And its a reality that I've been considering more and more. I mean really? Could I be lucky enough to land a position like this?

Bubble Burst

I just got rejected from DFAT's third stage :( am kinda more cut then I should be considering I know how hard it would have been to get through at all. I will try again next year! Starting to lose hope on these applications. Though I have another phone interview tomorrow. Hopefully someone will give me a chance soon~

Relocating?

Ok the title might have been a little misleading. I am not reloacting just yet. But I've been thinking it over quite a bit lately. This topic has come up a few times over the past few years. And everytime it has I have settled with the idea that yes, I can relocate. But can I really? I woke up today and as I walked out of my room towards the bathroom, I suddenly missed home. I know it doesn't make any sense because I am home now... but I suddenly thought about how much I would miss walking down my hallway ... miss my room where I have dwelled and comforted myself ... miss walking past my sisters' rooms to peek if they were awake... so could I really do it? In all the job applications to date relocations has come up quite a bit. With more prospects interstate it is likely that I would have to consider this option in my future. I'm approaching this question quite seriously now. And I am worried. Can I really leave my comfort zone and start a new chapter? Only time will tell. Monday will be a big day for me ... i'm kinda really scared but also excited about the prospects. I'll let you know more about it all soon ^^ side note: having issues with the paragraphing in blogger T.T

Who Would Have Thought?

Just as I don't know what my life will be like in five years time, I would have never guessed that this is where I am today. Someone once told me that all things happen for a reason. I know its a very general statement... but it isn't until recently that I've really tried to apply this concept. I have the most awful nauseating headache today. I have no idea why. Maybe it was from walking in the rain yesterday and having a slight cold. Unfortunately for me I should have notified my interviewer today of my "disability". Yes, I finally at least got the opportunity to speak to an employer in the progress of my application. It was a unexpected call. And I really think I didn't do as well as I would have wished. I am disappointed in myself. But at the same time happy that I made it that far. The assessment centre event will be held on Monday. So I guess if I don't hear from them again before the close of business today then I'm out :( The waiting game is always hard. I'm trying to document as much of my thoughts during this period as possible. I want to be able to look back on these days and re-experience what was felt. To remember how much effort I put into getting where I am now. So excuse all the talk about graduate applications. I need to continue with new applications.. but getting caught up with cognitive testings and the progress with firms that I have recently heard from. Wanting more information ... waiting ... the process is torture... hahah how have I responded? Instead of being on facebook these days I've spent my time stalking Whirlpool forums. Its surprising how many times I check it a day == almost as much as I check my emails!.. I said ALMOST. Off I go... to check my email T.T

Unreasonable

So some of the applications that I've put in have come back. Some of them rejections :( but for some of them I've made it to stage 2 :) ... Stage two is typically an online cognitive test. Usually verbal, numerical and abstract reasoning. And after doing a few of these tests I've realised that it is a bit of a weak point of mine. Maybe becauses its a test that you can't study for. I've done a few practice tests which I hope will help... I just hope to make it to the third stage. One step at a time right? Well I'm still working on applications as now is the time when most of the closing dates are approaching. Also I'll be heading to Esperence for Easter this year. So I've got to get all the ones due during that time period done well before I head off. I'm quite excited about Esperence... I've always wanted to travel more around WA, but somehow never got round to it... must be because I've become too lazy to plan thing anymore. This should be a good experience.. tho I am worried because they hope to live on the fish that is caught... and I... umm... don't like eating fish >< We shall have to wait and see. I can't wait to bring my camera too!! I'm sure I'll be able to get a few nice shots there, I mean Australia really is quite beautiful when u get the chance to look around. Ok plan for the rest of the night... 1. Eat dinner 2. Complete the cognitive test invite 3. Work on DFD graduate application. Jia You!!!

Snippets of the Past

So when I'm a little bored or something sparks my interest I tend to go back into old conversations and letters to see what life was like before. Its also to find out fragment of missing memory that I could have sworn never happened. But either way ... I always learn something out of my quest sessions .. and most of the time it makes me smile and acknowledge how far I have come.. how far we have come. Tonite, it was Lisa. I went to check the MSN chat logs to figure out if she said something to me last night or I had just dreamt it. Turns out it was an SMS ... but it got me looking through our chat history. (I shouldn't even be telling u guys that I keep these - since they are so private). Anyways, through these chat logs there were so many memories. Lisa is one of my oldest friends... and definitely one who has seen me through so many of my dramas. So looking thru all the conversations and all that had happened in my life then really made me reflect. There were definitely a lot of laughs in those logs. So thanks Lisa, I know I rarely get the chance to say it to you, but I'm glad you have been a part of my life and making it all the more enjoyable hehe. I really do appreciate your support through the good times and bad. Reading the logs made me feel selfish but taught me to be grateful for all I have. An I am grateful for ur unfaltering faith in me to be nothing more and nothing less than me.