一直過的時間

我突然覺得我走了越來越遠了. 好像不能回頭了. 看見了模糊的世界... 我缺少了陽光.真的好冷好冷.

以前相信的事實好像變了一個謊. 可能我想了太簡單, 可能是應為我太希望這幅畫是生活裡面的美麗. 太幼稚了. 別再發白日夢. 世界上根本沒有什麼童話故事. 快樂是真的那麼難得到嗎?



為什麼那些快樂的日只留下一個已經不熟悉的背影. 我已經走了太遠了... 但是還追不上回忆。

The after effect

Yup done with exams already and I know i should be excited as hell.. which I am but at the same time I'm not. Maybe its coz my Monetary Economics exam went so shit. I seriously don't know if I will pass that unit.. but then again no one believes me when I say that anyways.

Me and Tammy (Sorry Tammy I like this Pic)

On the plus side after exams I had a little retail therapy session after exams with Tammy, Ali and Fel. Was much needed but I think I'm weak these days.. couldn't last without being exhausted after what 5 hours of shopping. Now that is sad. I think I need to do some training! Or maybe its just the fact that my brain has left me and gone on a holiday since I forced it to do so much without any reward.

MmmM Pancakes

Pocket Full of Chicken

Teeheehee

I am still soo soo tired I think I just want to sleep for a whole week. Or just sit in front of the TV and not move and not think for at least one week. I think that's is what is feeding my current feeling of anti-socialness. I don't really want to go out. It's prob coz my life revolved around this one metre radius for the past month and I guess I'm just a bit people-phobic at the moment. As Mishie said I certainly picked the right moment to be anti-social didn't I? Since everyone is out there partying and celebrating end of exams. BAH! Maybe I just have to get out there and remind myself what I am missing.

Speaking of anti-socialness it really doesn't help now that there are new laws on P Plate drivers. Yes, yes I am still on my P Plate.. I'm still on them for at least another 6 months actually. I get off them in January next year. Well, basically the new laws state that P Plate drivers are restricted by a ZERO blood alcohol level for the full term of their provisional license. Now know that I don't drink that much when I drive BUT I STILL DRINK!.. So now I won't be drinking for the next 6 months. BaH! Gives me another reason to be anti-social. But then again I guess I'm grateful that I've been on my P's for at least a year and a half already because new P Platers who have not done 6 mths yet have a night time curfew!! That's rite, new P Platers are not allowed to drive from 12 am to 5 am in the morning. Talk about stupid. And they are going to distinguish between the curfew P platers and the non curfew P platers with different color P Plate.. hence why my P Plates are now green.

Ok I think I'm done with bitching and whinging.. I think I shall go and ask my brain to think about what I will do tomorro nite. Laters!

Finish what you start

I think that is one of the principles I would always like to keep in my life. Today I finished the last lesson/exam for my Chinese at Tafe experience. Yeah, at first I didnt like it because the unit was a bit too easy for me.. I just didnt feel challenged enough. I know that being challenged is not always a good thing in life (eg my current position of stress and failure or deemed failure).. but u do need just enough of it to keep ur life interesting. In the end I learnt from the experience. I learnt from the people there. A group of individuals who I would have never imagined I would meet. A group of people that 3 months ago would have been total strangers passing me by on the street. What a group.. I think I shall miss their individual quirks and stories. It was strange though coz as I took one last look at them before I left the room I felt each one of them fading from my life.. like a severed link. I wonder will I remember them 10 years later. I feel like I have just closed a door and all that remains is the footsteps left behind. Only one dangling string is left... a phone number and a promise to call...

******

In other news, jie jie came back home today and brought awesome souvenirs for me xD. I took a photo =)

See I got a silver sparkles mascara, a Victoria Secrets pearl sparkling shadow, a Lolita momiji doll (to add to my collection yay!), a cool pair of chopsticks, knee high socks and my much long awaited DBSK T album!!!

... but I think something is missing.. hmm... OOooOO thats rite.. what I used to take the photo! teeheehee yah I got a new camera YAY.. its not the model I wanted initially but its pretty close so its okay..

Ta dah.... i smell camwhoring seeshions

Ok I'm going to bed now.. don't feel well at all today.. stupid study is making me sick.. like puking sick gah.

nites.
thanks for the support guys.. u guys know who u are

What has hapened to me..

I think I''m going to cry.. I can't do this anymore. Even what I write is not good enough anymore. Now I'm staring to question whether it ever was good enough. I got my Monetary Economics essay back today. There was no comments on it. Only one big ugly mark. One that was so ugly it was under the average. I'm so annoyed. If anything I used to be able to count on my take home assignments to keep my averages up. If anything it was my source of secruity going into the exam knowing that hey I at least had that grade I could count on. But now.. my house of cards has fallen down and I dont know what to do. More importantly, I don't know how to cope and how to continue studying without letting this affect me so much.

On the verge of breaking down and giving up t-7

Need for Productivity

What is wrong with me.. I'm not productive at all. I just can't sit here and do my work.. instead I sit and stare at this blank screen. Who knew the Asian Business essays would be so hard to prep. I don't know what is holding me back! *sighs* My self imposed deadline for essay number one is this Saturday. Lets hope I get it done in time >.<

Hahahah Tammy pointed out that in my hibernation ban I stated that I would not go out until the 26 of November which would most definately kill me. No my ban is only till the 26th of June .. sorry misprint. I don't know what I was thinking.. actually I must have not been thinking! But it's nice to know that at I have at least one reader in this blog of mine.

Lunch today at Northbridge Chinese Dim Sum with Tammy, Ruth, Alan and Rudy. Food was actually quite good today. I haven't been to Northbridge Chinese for a while. I think because I got sick of it in the early days. But I think it might make it back on to my list. What more could u ask for rite.. good food, good company... ooo.. I would like to ask for a ban on exams! GRRRZZ

Ok enough ranting for today.. I know this was my excuse to procrastinate. damn!

Laters *waves*

Stupid Studying

Studying is stupid. Its making me depressed. I think its the lack of social interaction associated with exam week. I think this feeling started just after I imposed a self ban. How stupid of me. The fact that everyone else is also studying is meant to comfort me... but it doesn't. Not at all. All that does is highlight the fact that no one has time.. and we can blame no one.

There is so much I don't know and I think I've underestimated everything. I think I've underestimated this whole semester. I'm being to be terrified by the lack of motivation I possess. No wonder I'm nothing but mediocre BAH!

Need to get over this phase... asking for help.. someone show me the light at the end of the tunnel please?

我不想忘記你

String of Thoughts

Have not blogged recently ( I do actually realise I start each post like this these days). I think its because I never have an overreaching theme to my posts anymore. I think I've started posts and just gave up half way thru just because I would not feel like blogging anymore half way through. Oh wells.. I decided to blog a string of thoughts.. just anything that comes to mind... not like I dont do that already.

Sitting through endless ilectures is so tedious. The thing is i've been to all these lectures, just rewatching these lectures to help with the study. I'm re-doing all the psych lectures.. and at first I didnt think it was that much. I only had 8 psych lectures this year.. so not tooooo bad rite.. oo but they are 2 hour lectures! So, so far I have done.. 6.8/8 lectures. What happened to the 0.2 of the seventh lecture? umm.. I'm doing it now while i'm blogging >.<

I actually quite worried about this set of exams. I dunno if its the fact that they are all consecutive again that is worrying me, but more that I just don't know how I'm going to do in these exams. Particularly psych, clueless on what they could/would ask.

On that note I think I shall publicise my hibernation here. I am making an effort to not go out from now to the end of my exams on the 27th of November 2008. This includes dinner and lunches. And arrangements that I have made prior shall be kept, so don't worry Tammy I am still up for lunch on the day we planned. So my life for the next 3 weeks shall revolve around work, study and gym. I guess that's a good thing. I need to get back into my gym regime anyway. Been a bit slack recently just because its too cold to get out of bed recently. Not good.. I'm gaining weight back that I previously lost.

Jie Jie is in New York right now. I'm so jealous. I wish I was there with her. She sounds like she is having an awesome time and is shopping like crazy. I can't believe she told me she was sick of shopping the other day *rolls eyes*. I'm gonna be super jealous when she goes to Japan.

Which reminds me.. I think I wanna continue learning Jap. I mite have to do it in Tafe or something though because it doesn't fit in my uni units properly. But I really love learning Jap. This mite mean I have to give up on Korean temporarily. I found out curtin is the only place which offers a proper Korean course, so I think Korean mite have to wait a while. I'm quite disappointed at that really. But I guess since I have learnt a lot more Jap this semester it's more practical to continue with Jap. ii desu ne!

Man it's gettin late.. better go and finish off the stupid topic on interest rates for monetary economics (yup finished the seventh ilecture already) before I go to bed.
Good nite guys.. hope you all are studying hard.

Till another day... wait for me?