You tell yourself not to get ur hopes up. Don't expect anything from it at all.. you did it only to see how far you could get... but somehow no matter how much u repeated those words in your head, none of it actually got thru.
Then without noticing you let urself... you let urself daydream a little and then u begin to imagine yourself in the situation.. imagining the possibility. AND then worse of all U plan... you plan based on your expectations.
In actual fact, you had just set a trap for urself. A trap where all the pieces of your house of card have just collapsed in your face and you're left wondering how U let urself get to this stage.. let urself want it in the first place.
I got the email from Deloittes today.. after waiting for the call the whole day and rushing home from my Jap class (which I was late to). My application would not be processed any further for the Dream Team Competition 2008. Disappointed is the understatement of the century.. but I don't regret applying of course.
Just made me think and question myself... I dont think my Hong Kong Internship plans are going to go ahead. I will still try for them.. but I'm just not sure about it at all anymore. I'm really not sure about any internship plans actually...
Feeling scarred (by that word) and vulnerable..
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