Foolish

How many times do I have to be taught? Not to plan, not to expect, not to hope, and not to desire. I seem to never learn and each time I am reminded of my foolishness all I can do I cry foul play and it hurts... it hurts so much.

I'm sick of telling myself I was meant for something bigger, I'm sick of expecting the light at the end of the tunnel when the reality has always been more darkness. I'm just sick of being who I am at the moment... I want to crawl into that dark corner and hide- but then I realise I never left that corner to be able to return.

I think of all those people out there who actually have a direction, a purpose and inspiration... and I'm ashamed to show my face... ashamed to tell them this is how I have lived my life for the past two decades. What a waste. It so much easier to say that you will make more of an effort and to plan for change then it is to do. In the end its just a circle... and I doubt this is what they meant by the circle of life.

Sorry. Emo. I guess this is what happens when you get told you're just not good enough.

But a Distant Memory

Sorry for the absence. I would like to say that the reason is because I have been busy. But that would be a mere lie.. I have just been lazy =)

I've been back for two weeks already and it seems like such a long time since I lived the carefree life- where my biggest worry was not knowing what colour I should buy that shirt in. The trip, u ask? Was awesome. It was quite the adventure and I learnt a few things here and there along the way. I love the feeling of living out of a suitcase... being constantly on the move and trying to maximize every minute of the day. It felt productive, it felt so good. I even loved that fact that when your a foreigner you can dress however you want, or say what you want cos the true is ... no one knows you so its ok to go eat supper in the city streets wearing your pjs. And then there ws the immigration officers. You see usually I would actually be scared of them. Even tho I've done nothing wrong the fact that they the authority means that they should be feared in my eyes. But not this time. For some unknown reason ALL the immigration officers that I was in contact with were soooo friendly!! Even tho it was just small chat or just questions on the island I was born on...it felt good hehehe So if I could use two words to wrap up my entire trip they would be... LOVED IT.

As I said.. "We're Foriegners.. so its ok to be Idiots"

I know this blog is missing some serious camwhoring so I shall fill it with random photos =)

MOF in Singapore- Officially my Fav Jap place in Singapore

Ok U can't go to HK without taking this pic!

OMG this was from my fone since my camera fotos sucked!

With My Cousins. Sorry I was too lazy to rotate =)

So.. I have put on weight obviously since I ate everything in sight for the 3 weeks that I was overseas =( That's like a year's worth of gymming down the drain! I put on 3 kgs!!! I'm so annoyed and I haven't re-joined my gym yet due to lack of funds. But we shall have to do that soon I think. So I've been trying to out my own temporary exercise schedule in the meantime. But with the heat and sun being an obstacle (since I'm also trying not to get dark again since my Aunties mentioned how dark I have gotten!) and the fact that I sleep in way too much... my success is somewhat limited. So now its time for some super extreme action. I, Noelle JXL will eat only fruits vegetable and chicken breast meat for the next 5 days without any sauces/salt/sugars/pepper. Omg I'm sooo not going to last am I? Anyways I will give it all my best to accomplish this. I think I need it and that It would be a good detox. Plus I already spent $20 on fruits and vegies in preparation for the begining of it all tomorrow. Wish me luck? OOOh and that also means that I will not be dinnering/lunching/suppering out for the next 5 days. Sorry guys but u will support me in this won't you?

With Sis.. the sakura looks real rite!

Ok changing topics since the lack of good food is starting to depress me. I've made some changes to my room since I got back. There are a few new additions to my room (not including clothes, cos that would be silly) such as the portable external hard drive I bought (actually dad bought it for my early b-day present- been getting gifts early this year hmmm) and the new little cabinent I bought while shopping with Tammy last Weds. Its so awesome it only cost me $20 and it fit perfect where I wanted it. Its for my CD's since my CD draw had just about given up on me. Its soo cool... only putting it together was a bit of a hassle hehehe since I had it build it 3 times cos I put the shelves facing the wrong way up more then once o_0. But I got it right in the end =)

All in All the two weeks that I have been back have been ok. Nothing much interesting in my life atm.. but at the same time.. I guess I can't complain =)

Hope you all have been well and good and hope to be seeing you all soon yeah!

Laters!

Happy Chinese New Year!!

So here is to another year! Somehow I believe that this will be my year... well its good to start of positive rite?

SO how was everyone's first day of Chinese New Year? Mine was awesome. Very traditional and endless family dinners =) it was a very proper CNY with the whole extended family present. It feels so good to be over here. Don't get me wrong I still miss home heaps.. but I'm not done yet!! I still have thing that need to be bought!! Cos I haven't bought much.. HONEST!! Actually I'm really honest I havent bought many shoes, no bags, no watch that I wanted =( . Thats it for the remaining week I"m here I'm gonna to boost Malaysia's economy!

I wanted to blog pictures but I forgot to bring my cable and if I did someone mite kill me for purposely rubbing it in =p On that note... I LOVED Hong Kong. Not enough time was spent there- I didnt get to fully explore and we spent most of our time around Kow Long. I never knew it was two different places. But I do now, so next time I will spend more time in Hong Kong =) OOoooOO but the one thing I didn't like in HK was the shop people they are SOOOOOO scary!! hehehe it was like an aruging match to buy stuff... no wonder we didn't buy much. heheh Actually we shipped 30kg worth of stuff home from HK =p but that included Singapore shopping and I swear it was totally not me!!! I haven't bought much!

Alrite I think this is all for now. Time to get going. More eating? Probably!! K-ing time when I get back!!

Missing U all who read my blog =)

Off to Macau

Am at the Singapore terminal atm waiting for the flight to Macau and yet it hasn't hit me yet that i'm on holidays. Spending = painful as i'm kept on a budget =(.

This trip to Singapore was just not the same... not the same hype.. not the same shopping and not the same type of play. I was tired for most of it and didn't camwhore much. I must make more of an effort in Macau and Hk!!

Ok I've got less then 2 mins on this machine so I'm gonna make it quick. I miss.....................

• SM- My car
• My Bed
• My facial Cleansers
• And of course U guys!

Hope you all are well and good..

catch yas laters =)

Byeeeee

I am flying off tonite. Am I excited? Not really.. hasn't hit me yet. Quite frankly I was more excited yesterday. Anyways this is a really short post to say that I mite not be updating while I'm overseas but I will try to whenever possible. And email updates or messages are welcome.. keep me up-to-date guys cos I don't want to be overly bombarded with crazy surprises when I'm back!!

This shall be an interesting trip. As famiy trips usually are. And I think I shall be planning to treat myself this trip. I need a nice new watch I think... but I kinda haven't decided what type I wanted. Something professional?

Bah, ok I think it's time for me to make my last trek to work before flying off. Be good boys and girls.. I shall see you all in a bit =)

Laters *waves*

Survived!

For the past week I've been spending my time perfecting and practising various dishes.. all in preparation for today. Today, I took over the kitchen... and I am *dead* T.T I can't believe I even have the energy to blog! But the thing is it wasn't even THAT busy, but I guess it was busy enough. Was good. I feel somewhat competent today and for once I feel productive =) Here are some of my practise dishes hehe just because I haven't had any photos on here for a while... neone hungry?

Curry Fish and Okra

Fried Vegetarian Noodles

Tang Yuan- For the Beginning of Summer Festival

TVXQ Cookies that I made during Exam Period

So holiday is in 4 days and counting. I am excited as ever! But I'll only b in Singapore for so little time =( so much to do but so little time. Am even more excited about HK and Macau because it will be a new journey, a new place to explore, a new way of life to observe. Ok so I make it sound like more of an adventure than it would actually end up being.. but it will be awesome cos I will make it awesome!!!

On the idea of adventure, I think my parents have really come to terms with my Taiwan trip. It seems to be coming to life. They are actually asking serious questions and even know that Mishie will only be in Taiwan with me for only one of the 2 months. On and new plans have been added to Taiwan--> Japan and Korea! So I am psyched!! If only I didn't forget so much of my Jap d'oh!

Tomorrow will be an awesome day too.. going out with the guys for a last catch up session before I leave. We'll be eating at KimChi House =) shall be super duper awesome *drools*. But I kinda regret not being able to catch up with very many people because I haven't done a very good job at organising catch up session... maybe thats why people drift away from me? *shrugs*

Ok I am done.. apologies for the random fotos.. proper fotos will be posted soon =) Nights everyone I think I deserve this sleep zzZZzz

Caffeine Overdose

I have been caffeine-free for a long time now, opting for hot chocolates and fruity frappes whenever I'm out to coffee with friends. It has been the sensible choice since I know that milk and caffeine does not do me any good with my urges to puke. But today... I have no idea what has come over me... I have had 2 coffees within 4 hours and I FEEL SICK! Bleh, I think I've learnt my lesson... I think back to no caffeine at least until HK when I go all out for milk tea =p

Soooo... the new year is approaching. Everyone got plans? Noelle has no plans, then again I don't think I ever do.. things just come up and I just go along with it every year. Then again Christmas and New Year's Day has never been a big thing for me. At least not since I can remember. Just another day in the year. Hmm resolutions this year? Still thinking.. still working on it. But I can tell u one thing, 2009 is the year of Taiwan...

I wonder where everyone is? Or is it just me? Everyone seems preoccupied with stuff and busy. No one is ever on msn nemore. Otherwise everyone is hiding like me. Maybe that's it. Or maybe its just that people have lives to live.

I think I need a change in styles. I'm kinda bored with my look. But at the end of the day I still buy clothes that are similar to what i've already got. Maybe I'll have to experiment a bit more with the clothes I buy on my shopping trip overseas. So far on my list... I want a nice watch something that is elegant. But I guess we shall see coz rite now I am still as broke as ever. Speaking of clothes, that reminds me I need to really clean out my closet. Need to get rid of the stuff I no longer wear and no longer want. I have a habit of keeping stuff even if I will never wear it ever again. But seriously that has to change coz my closet is full of junk. But but but I cleaned my room -ish... well it's been de-dusted and the carpet has been professionally cleaned, so that is my spring cleaning for the year (and i mean next year of course).

Am heading to HK and Macau quite soon. Anyone have any suggestions on must go destinations? At the moment I have no idea where to go, what to eat (other than the famous egg tarts) and where to shop. I guess I still have time to do some research, but lets just see if I can be bothered. I'm guessing no.

Ok I am off... coffee is still making me jittery so lets see if i can find something to overcome it. mmmM fine dining tomorro should be good. oh and fotos. I miss Camwhoring.