I stare at my monthly planner on the wall.. in big red letter is reads THESIS: introduction and method first draft due, 30th July. It’s achievable. If I make the effort. Which I must.
But .. and yes there always must be a but .. my brain won't function. I need a delete button.. to delete all that was. haha but life is never that easy is it. I'm tired. I'm tired of thinking about the alternative roads. This is not how it played out in reality.. so why does it play out like that in my head? Why did I imagine myself like that? When in actuality I pretty much did the opposite? Is it my subconscious leaking into my conscious thoughts? ... all I really want to know is why. Questions that will never be answered.
Last night I had a session with Mishie and a few coronas. It was a chilled night. But it was a good night. Met a few new people too.. Its always good to expose yourself to new perspectives. So much for MIA right? I always say I want it.. Then when faced with it I get worried. Still going to say it tho.. cos who is going to stop me? You?
下雨天 ... 陪我的雨滴
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Saturday Night
A Picture to say A Thousand WordsHome on a Saturday night is a bit weird. I mean its not as if I'm always out on Saturday night... am I? Anyway.. not the point. The point is that it feels quite weird. Do I have stuff to do? Yah.. honours work ... at at the same time it feels like im taking a break tonight. Bah. I don't even know what I'm trying to get at.
I've fallen in love with Shilla Cafe recently. Like seriously LOVE the place. I don't know why.. the atmosphere? The river? The Park.. its everything. I love East Perth. Which is a good thing because it lead to me and Lisa's plan for before 40! haha
Maybe I should just sleep. I like this photo of us today.. love winter photos.. lighting is always better on winter days...
Janice, Lisa and Noelle-Another Winter Day-
Thursday, June 17, 2010
You.
There is a first for everything. This might be one of my most honest posts yet.
I don't know how.. and why but I let you by my side. When I was prepared to say no.. somehow I still said yes. And slowly.. day by day you grew on me. My friends would not be surprised because it they know me too well. Know that I get attached to people, things and ideas all too easily. Is this what happened? When they were against it.. I still gave you a chance ... I still don't know why.
Maybe its true. I'm not good at showing people how I feel. I thought I was transparent... when in actual fact I'm quite the enigma when I choose to be. But I did think about it.. I did think about you.. I did think about us. Maybe that was just not enough.
At the end of the day. I have these memories. Be it for good or bad.. it will be a part of my history.
Don't regret. I will spend today forgetting ... and tomorrow will be my new start.
t-21. Goodbye. You.
I don't know how.. and why but I let you by my side. When I was prepared to say no.. somehow I still said yes. And slowly.. day by day you grew on me. My friends would not be surprised because it they know me too well. Know that I get attached to people, things and ideas all too easily. Is this what happened? When they were against it.. I still gave you a chance ... I still don't know why.
Maybe its true. I'm not good at showing people how I feel. I thought I was transparent... when in actual fact I'm quite the enigma when I choose to be. But I did think about it.. I did think about you.. I did think about us. Maybe that was just not enough.
At the end of the day. I have these memories. Be it for good or bad.. it will be a part of my history.
Don't regret. I will spend today forgetting ... and tomorrow will be my new start.
t-21. Goodbye. You.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Change
Everyone knows... I don't like change. Actually thinking about it seriously, does anyone really like change? I mean I get it if it is necessary for survival .. blah blah blah adaption and evolution reasons ... but change that comes out of the blue is a bit .. abrupt? That's not the right word. But people get defensive over change.
Having said all that. Do you like my new template? Its got a melancholy feel to it doesn't it. I think it suits me quite well. After all, we all know that I usually only blog when there is something wrong.
Half the year has already gone by. I actually think it had sped by quite quickly.. sooner or later I will really have written my thesis. It seems never ending now.. but it will be done, and I will move on. It hasn't really been a bad year for me so far. I mean it hasn't been spectacular, but really I think I've accomplished more this year that I have last. Its too early to judge, but I think I will look back on this year with fond memories. It has definitely been a year of firsts.
My poor SLR has been taking a break lately. I really wanna get out there and take some shots. I should really get into a photography class. Before this year is up, someone please make sure that I do. How awesome would it be to be able to take nice photos... haha maybe I should just stop standing in front of the camera then my photos might look better! haha
Mishie has finished her last exam for uni. Hurray for Mishie. But that also means I'm really the only one still at the uni campus. Oh wait. She was never really there anyways!! X)
Lisa got extended. I think its a good thing Lisa. I know that its hard to work with people ur not very fond of, but at the end of the day we all need to survive. Just take it until u find something you would love more.
Caz bought an apartment. I can't believe she bought an apartment LOL. Its mega awesome tho. Makes me really want one too.. but I have a long way to go in terms of savings. Maybe in a few years time. But in that case I should not holiday so much. :( but but but I Love holidays!!
Ali has started full time work. Its strange that Ali has full time work now. But I'm happy that he found something in his area. You suit the full time image.
Edshi is becoming a doctor. I haven't seen Edshi around much this year, but day by day he is getting closer to the doctor position. It sounds exhausting, but he has the strength to manage.
Tammy has moved out. She has found a place with Shane. I'm so happy for her.. and to think we were discussing how impossible this was just a few years ago. I'm looking forward to her housewarming!
And I. Am still writing the method section of my thesis that should have been done a week ago T.T back to work I go.
Leaving you with a thought...
How has your year been so far?
Having said all that. Do you like my new template? Its got a melancholy feel to it doesn't it. I think it suits me quite well. After all, we all know that I usually only blog when there is something wrong.
Half the year has already gone by. I actually think it had sped by quite quickly.. sooner or later I will really have written my thesis. It seems never ending now.. but it will be done, and I will move on. It hasn't really been a bad year for me so far. I mean it hasn't been spectacular, but really I think I've accomplished more this year that I have last. Its too early to judge, but I think I will look back on this year with fond memories. It has definitely been a year of firsts.
My poor SLR has been taking a break lately. I really wanna get out there and take some shots. I should really get into a photography class. Before this year is up, someone please make sure that I do. How awesome would it be to be able to take nice photos... haha maybe I should just stop standing in front of the camera then my photos might look better! haha
Mishie has finished her last exam for uni. Hurray for Mishie. But that also means I'm really the only one still at the uni campus. Oh wait. She was never really there anyways!! X)
Lisa got extended. I think its a good thing Lisa. I know that its hard to work with people ur not very fond of, but at the end of the day we all need to survive. Just take it until u find something you would love more.
Caz bought an apartment. I can't believe she bought an apartment LOL. Its mega awesome tho. Makes me really want one too.. but I have a long way to go in terms of savings. Maybe in a few years time. But in that case I should not holiday so much. :( but but but I Love holidays!!
Ali has started full time work. Its strange that Ali has full time work now. But I'm happy that he found something in his area. You suit the full time image.
Edshi is becoming a doctor. I haven't seen Edshi around much this year, but day by day he is getting closer to the doctor position. It sounds exhausting, but he has the strength to manage.
Tammy has moved out. She has found a place with Shane. I'm so happy for her.. and to think we were discussing how impossible this was just a few years ago. I'm looking forward to her housewarming!
And I. Am still writing the method section of my thesis that should have been done a week ago T.T back to work I go.
Leaving you with a thought...
How has your year been so far?
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
I Wonder
Will you remember me tomorrow? Will you remember me in a week? Will you remember me in a year? Its funny how people come and go from your life. And its funnier who you actually think about in a day ... there are people that are from my distant past that I miss so dearly now. Or is it the them in that past that I miss? Everything was so simple then .. or maybe just that I look at it now and it seems simple. I really don't know. No I don't think this is one of my depressive episodes, or at least I hope not. What I am trying to say is that ... you might not know it, because I don't say it much, but you ... the youse that has chosen to enter my life and give me the precious memories that I have now mean a lot to me. I will remember you and miss you for all that you have given me.
These day I have not the words to fill my thoughts...
These day I have not the words to fill my thoughts...
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Jinx
So .. I just jinxed myself. I got busy. Like crazy busy. I don't know where all these assignments have come from but they are all here to get me!!! 30% Stats lab report which seemed easy.. but decided to become all technical on me. So that is what I am currently working on, tho I don't know what has happened by writing is so much harder theses day. Or has it always been and I've just forgotten? In two weeks I will have my 60% essay due. Now that one is a major killer. Ima try to get started on it tomorrow! Its one of the more atypical assignments. Tho that is always the case with Vance's assignments. Its about designing a 3rd year Psychology history unit - what we would teach over 10 weeks and why. Sounds ok right? But I'm imagining the headache already. Then in that week I have tests for stats and exam coming soon. Luckily only one exam this year- 8th June yay XD
On the other side of this honours course is my thesis project. I FINALLY got ethics approval from the human research ethics committee. So I'm on a rush to begin my baseline data collection. All the logistics must be managed first tho .. which means more meeting, training sessions and thinking lol.
So I guess this is my notice of temporary MIA. I will try to uphold any promises I've already made in terms of social outings. I always been bad at organising my time. Sorry guys. I will be back soon. haha 8th of June looks like the likely date to crawl out of hibernation or probably once I hand in the 60% essay. haha but I say that now.. just watch me crave the social-ness. We are human after all and humans are social creatures.
See you soon...
Officially Missing You~
On the other side of this honours course is my thesis project. I FINALLY got ethics approval from the human research ethics committee. So I'm on a rush to begin my baseline data collection. All the logistics must be managed first tho .. which means more meeting, training sessions and thinking lol.
So I guess this is my notice of temporary MIA. I will try to uphold any promises I've already made in terms of social outings. I always been bad at organising my time. Sorry guys. I will be back soon. haha 8th of June looks like the likely date to crawl out of hibernation or probably once I hand in the 60% essay. haha but I say that now.. just watch me crave the social-ness. We are human after all and humans are social creatures.
See you soon...
Officially Missing You~
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Looking for that Rainbow
I think I've mentioned it to people a lot lately, but I really don't feel like a student. Maybe because I only have 5 hours of "class/meetings" a week. Or maybe its because I don't see those familar faces at uni anymore. It's kinda scary to think that I've been at uni for 6 years now. Thats a whole med degree in itself. But instead.. I chose a path that leads to a blur.
Despite having so little classes, I know I still have a lot of things that I should be doing. Tho I kinda haven't figured out just what exactly it is that I should be doing. I'm stressed over being stressed. Presentation on Tuesday (slides done: check), Stats Assignment due following Monday (completed and edited: check and check), Essay due in two weeks (35% completed- quality unsure as always), Logistics for project started (Online Suvery Designed: check). So I have been doing stuff right? But why does it feel like I've only been spending my time sleeping and wasting away. Is it that I need to be more busier to realise that I actually need to do stuff. oooo I am so going to regret typing that.
I know now tho.. I am certainly not cut out for the academic life. So let it pass quickly... let me move on to more suitable things. I know life is not always about having fun and playing around.. but it must be more than essays and assignments right? Its hard to study when all ur friends are no longer studying.. or in Mishie's case never attend uni!!!
Almost 2 months since I've been back. My stuff has not arrived yet :( but I'm thinking it will be soon since I've tracked it to Australian Sea Customs. So just need them to give the all clear and then I shall have my stuff back :) Particularly looking forward to getting my guestbook back. I can't believe I stupidly put it in there. I wonder what else was in there... beginning to forget already. There are still little things that would just pop into my mind about Taiwan that would just make me stop ad smile. I don't know if it's a good thing tho.. cos it just makes me miss it more.. makes me miss them more. The other day mum wanted to make me ginger tea because I'm sick at the moment. It just made me think of New Years Eve. Hahah watching the fireworks with Ricky and his friends.. I was wearing a dress and a coat but never thought it would be what 10 degrees. Freezing my ass off! Ricky bought me ginger tea. It was so warming but being ginger (and me not liking the taste of ginger *yuk*) haha I just held it most of the night. Thanks Ricky. That was really an unforgettable night hahaha. Little memories like this make me think about all that I had done in those 2 months in Taiwan .. and compare it to the two months that I've been back. What a difference.
Maybe thats just it.. I want a busier life style. Minus the stress of honours haha.. if only.
Starting to get worried.. this chest pain of mine won't go away. Hopefully its nothing serious because as slack as I am .. I still don't think I have time for hospitals.
Back to... procrastination =.=
Despite having so little classes, I know I still have a lot of things that I should be doing. Tho I kinda haven't figured out just what exactly it is that I should be doing. I'm stressed over being stressed. Presentation on Tuesday (slides done: check), Stats Assignment due following Monday (completed and edited: check and check), Essay due in two weeks (35% completed- quality unsure as always), Logistics for project started (Online Suvery Designed: check). So I have been doing stuff right? But why does it feel like I've only been spending my time sleeping and wasting away. Is it that I need to be more busier to realise that I actually need to do stuff. oooo I am so going to regret typing that.
I know now tho.. I am certainly not cut out for the academic life. So let it pass quickly... let me move on to more suitable things. I know life is not always about having fun and playing around.. but it must be more than essays and assignments right? Its hard to study when all ur friends are no longer studying.. or in Mishie's case never attend uni!!!
Almost 2 months since I've been back. My stuff has not arrived yet :( but I'm thinking it will be soon since I've tracked it to Australian Sea Customs. So just need them to give the all clear and then I shall have my stuff back :) Particularly looking forward to getting my guestbook back. I can't believe I stupidly put it in there. I wonder what else was in there... beginning to forget already. There are still little things that would just pop into my mind about Taiwan that would just make me stop ad smile. I don't know if it's a good thing tho.. cos it just makes me miss it more.. makes me miss them more. The other day mum wanted to make me ginger tea because I'm sick at the moment. It just made me think of New Years Eve. Hahah watching the fireworks with Ricky and his friends.. I was wearing a dress and a coat but never thought it would be what 10 degrees. Freezing my ass off! Ricky bought me ginger tea. It was so warming but being ginger (and me not liking the taste of ginger *yuk*) haha I just held it most of the night. Thanks Ricky. That was really an unforgettable night hahaha. Little memories like this make me think about all that I had done in those 2 months in Taiwan .. and compare it to the two months that I've been back. What a difference.
Maybe thats just it.. I want a busier life style. Minus the stress of honours haha.. if only.
Starting to get worried.. this chest pain of mine won't go away. Hopefully its nothing serious because as slack as I am .. I still don't think I have time for hospitals.
Back to... procrastination =.=
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